There's no doubt in my mind that you'd love to pass up all of this fascinating scripture, scroll quickly down and begin voraciously devouring Ammorite (Amurrite) information, but learn patience, Grasshopper, for it is written, "The great oak was not gnarled in a day and wet birds never fly at night." (I have no idea what that means, I read it on a fortune cookie the evening I got food poisoning.)
    Let's get started, shall we?

"17:1 And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me and be thou perfect."

    The guy's got a way with opening lines, hasn't he? Whatever happened to , "Hi, how ya doin'?" - guess they hadn't been invented yet. OK, so no visions this time, the old boy popped down in person for a live performance. So much for the myth about people dying when they see god - well, at least this god anyway.
    Notes in The New American Bible, the Catholic version that usually is more forthcoming regarding inside information than the King James', relate that the phrase above, in the original Hebrew, was taken to mean, "God, the Almighty." I say, "taken to mean," because TNAB goes on to say that whatever the original phrase may have been, it was the, "traditional but incorrect rendering of the divine title, 'shaddai," of uncertain meaning."         Actually, the meaning of the word, "shaddai," is not quite as mysterious as some may believe, as we will later learn. You may notice - but then again, you may not - that originally, I had used the phrase, "this Bible's god" regularly when referring to the supernatural entity so far mentioned in the Bible. Then I started referring to him only as "Abram's god" instead, simply because -- well, you'll see, as we continue with our study of the Amorites (Amurrites) --

"17:2 And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly."

    I thought they'd already made their covenant in the last chapter, what with all the killing and the splitting and the walking between the pieces, and the light show, which, I gotta tell you, was a bit over the top, but then I guess this omniscient god had never heard of "pinky-swear".

"17:3  And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying,
"17:4  As for me, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.
"17:5  Neither anymore shall thy name be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee.
"17:6  And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee."

    Hopefully not out of the same orifice he mentioned in Genesis, 15:4!
    Maybe it's because I don't think like a 99-year old Mesopotamian nomad, but what is this fixation with having so many descendants? That must be important to Abe, or his god wouldn't continually dangle the carrot in front of him. Nobody ever thinks of dangling a carrot in front of someone known to hate carrots. There are those who would say that Man's ego is responsible for the desire to be the source of many descendants, as that is our way of achieving some small degree of immortality. But with the big guy right there in front of him, wouldn't it have been simpler to just ask for another million or so years of life - why settle for a shred of DNA continuing on indefinitely, when he could actually be there in person?
    If I were a Hebrew story-writer, in captivity somewhere in a loft in beautiful downtown Babylon, anywhere from 900 BCE to 600 BCE, looking at how things are, and trying, for the purpose of my story, to imagine what events must have taken place in the distant past, to produce the situation before me, holding in my mind fragments of myths and legends that had been passed down to me, I would concoct a tale based on what I believed might motivate a man living a thousand years earlier. I could never be successful of course - the motivations of a man living in a different environment, under different circumstances, a millennium past, would forever elude me, and try as I might, the issues and mores of my own time would inevitably creep into the story line.
    You may also wonder why I care what Abram's motivation might have been, it's because this god is about to add a codicil to their contract, that, to agree to which, in my opinion, Abe would have to be highly motivated.
    Another quick side-note: The New American Bible says that, "Abram and Abraham are merely two forms of the same name, meaning 'the father is exalted'...." It continues, "The additional - 'ha' - in the form Abraham, is explained by folk etymology as coming from 'ab-hamon goyim,' 'father of a host of nations.'" The Jewish Encyclopedia confirms most of what TNAB said above, but adds that the name Abraham was not a Jewish name, "The name is personal, not tribal; it appears as a personal name in Babylonia in the time of Apil-Sin, about 2320 B.C.," and gives as its source: Meissner, "Beiträge zum Altbabylonischen Privatrecht," No. 111). Just in case you ever run across the question in your next rousing game of Trivial Pursuit.
    Meanwhile, back on the plains of Mamre:

"17:7  And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and unto thy seed after thee.
"17:8  And I will give unto thee and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, and all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession, and I will be their God.
"17:9 And God said unto Abraham, thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thee, and thy seed after thee in their generations."

    OK, we've heard all of this before in the last chapter, so why the redundancy? It's simple, the big guy is about to drop a bombshell, and he wants to make sure Abe has all of the promised goodies fresh in his mind, thus avoiding an exclamation from Abe, such as, "Say WHAT!!!!!? Are thee out of thy freakin' MIND?!!!"
    Are you ready?

"17:10  This is my covenant which thee shall keep, between me and thee, and thy seed after thee. Every man child among you shall be circumcised." (emphasis, most assuredly mine!)

    Even as I typed this, I found that I involuntarily clamped my knees together. True story.
    I have access to a video. It's only a little more than five minutes long, and I invite you to watch it. I could embed it here, but I'd prefer not to do so. Should any of you ever consider circumcising your sons, I'd strongly suggest you first watch this clip. Or you could do as I did and just watch part of it - I'm sure you'll get the idea. Just click on the image below and sit back - oh, you might want to turn the sound way down and you should probably forget the popcorn. Just keep in mind, this is what our loving god insists we do, if we expect to please him.

"17:11  And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of covenant betwixt me and you.

"17:12  And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child of your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
"17:13  He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
"17:14  And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant."

    What's the deal? Is this god starting a foreskin collection, or what? I've heard rumors that the world's biggest ball of twine is located on some farm in Nebraska - I guess you've got to go to heaven to see the world's biggest foreskin collection.
    Is he really suggesting that a 9-day old uncircumcised boy should "be cut off from his people," as having broken his bargain? This was never part of the butchered-meat agreement - can he just pull a Colombo and pop back in anytime he likes, with, "Oh, one more thing--"?
    Ever wonder how those wizened biblical scholars to which I've previously referred, determined that several different hands were at work in composing the Bible? By very careful observation, and I think I can give you a perfect example that I don't believe anyone has caught yet, at least not to my awareness. Take a look at verses 17:10-12, and tell me what's different about them from all of the others. I'm sorry, a little louder, I couldn't quite hear you - Ok, I'll tell you - I haven't scanned any of these biblical verses into the computer, I've typed each and every one of them, and those three verses above are the very first time in 17 chapters of that book, that I've ever typed the word, "you." A different author wrote those three verses. I have typed, "me and thee," until my fingers are stubby, and suddenly, it's "me and you." Interesting. Not earth-shattering exactly, but certainly interesting.
    It's also interesting to note that not only does this god not have any qualms about, nor provisions against, slavery, his casual statements on the subject above, indicate that child-trafficking isn't a particular concern with him either, which should have elated the pedophiles of the era. Religion - pedophiles -- that could start a trend!
    Now, as they say, for something from the lighter side of the news.

"17:15  And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.
"17:16  And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her and  she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her."

    The Jewish Encyclopedia informs us that Sarai means, "the princess," while Sarah simply means, "princess" - think she noticed the difference?

"17:17  Then Abraham fell on his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?
"17:18  And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee!
"17:19  Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Issac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.
"17:20 As for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation."

    I can't help wondering if anyone has ever done a fact-check, to see if Ishmael actually did beget twelve princes.

"17:21  But my covenant will I establish with Issac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.
"17:22  And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham."

    Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!

"17:23  And Abraham took Ishmael his son and all that were born in his house, and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him.
"17:24  And Abraham was ninety years old and nine when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.
"17:25  And Ishmael was thirteen years old when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.
"17:26  In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised and Ishmael, his son.
"17:27  And all the men in his house, born in the house, and bought with money of the stranger, were circumcised with him."

    And a good time was had by all. Can you imagine the reaction, when Abe came home and said to all of his hired hands, "Hey, Guys - guess what we're going to do today?!!"

    In 2, Chapter 17, we traced the history of Mesopotamia from its original settlement by the Sumerians around 8,000 BCE, who settled the Southern portion between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers near the Persian Gulf, through the migration into Northern Mesopotamia by nomadic Semitic tribes in 5,000 BCE. Eventually, there was conflict between the two cultures, and a king arose in Sumeria in 4500 En- (lord) Shag-Kushanna, who beat back the Semites. En-Shag-Kushanna established his kingdom at Lagash, and an unbroken line of kings ruled a united Sumeria for the next 500 years.
    After a relatively peaceful half-millennium, somewhere between 4,000 and 3,800 BCE, unrest among the lower classes within Sumer resulted in a revolt , headed by Urukagina, known as the first reformer, who seems to have sprung into power in Lagash as the leader of a peasants' revolution ("Sire, the peasants are revolting!" - "They certainly are!"). He initiated reforms there that, though they benefited those lower classes he championed, weakened the defenses of the city, which ultimately fell to the king of a rival city-state, and Urukagina with it, with the result that chaos again reigned in Mesoptamia.
    The last Sumerian king was Lugal-Zage-Si, who, during his 15-year reign, pursued a policy of expansion and opened a trade route from Mesopotamia, westward to the Mediterranean Sea.

    It was Sargon the Great, prominently mentioned in 2 Genesis, Chapter 10, who finally became the first Akkadian Semite to rule Mesopotamia, by defeating Lugal-Zage-Si.


    Although Sargon was not overly fond of Lugal-Zage-Si, leading him through the streets of his own capital city in chains, he thought Lugal's idea of opening a trade route from the Tigris-Euphrates valley through to Canaan on the coast of the Mediterranean was an excellent idea, and reinforced the area with garrisons of soldiers to maintain his control. He and his forces marched the length of the coast, through what would one day be Israel, to the Red Sea, making alliances and conquests along the way. The Mesopotamian "Wild West" had finally been opened to civilization, and like the American West, soon began receiving settlers. After Sargon, his son was found weaker, and no Akkadian kingship after Sargon demonstrated his strength. Though Akkadians would continue to dominate Mesopotamia for another hundred or more years, the Akkadian grip on the area began a slow decline.
    Whenever they extended beyond the immediate Babylonian neighborhood, the military campaigns of the Akkadian kings were dictated primarily by trade interests rather than being intended to serve the conquests and safeguarding of an empire. Akkad, or more precisely the king, needed merchandise, money, and gold in order to finance wars, buildings, and the system of administration that he had instituted.
    Modern scholars know as little about the individual stages of this decline as about the rise of Akkad. One factor that contributed to its downfall was the invasion of the nomadic Amurrus (Amorites), called Martu by the Sumerians, from the northwest.
    And that's where we'll pick it up next time.

pax vobiscum,
archaeopteryx